Sunday, December 16, 2012
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Tired.
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Hey guys, you know about the parenting thing I was talking about yesterday? I decided to give that and myself a break first but don't worry, I'll continue when I'm feeling a little better.
Reality. I mean, come on, we all have to face it one day. Its the hard truth of life. Life ain't rainbows and sunshine. Whenever I start stating fact to people around me, they start telling me to keep quiet and stuff. I mean, how long are you all wanting to stay in your self denial state? Maybe staying that way is best? I don't know. What do you all think? Many people say "Friends say thing you need to hear, not things you want to hear" but I don't see alot of people reacting well to them. I feel sad for those who care so much for their friends but got kicked out from their social circle in the end. That is really and sad scene to watch.
Sometimes when I think about it, why do things to make people hate you? What causes a person to use this measure? Is there really a "no way out"? And like I've said, everything you do will affect something no matter how small your actions are. Its all based on a "cause and effect" theory. Even me, sitting here writing this post, will cause something to happen.
I realised when people say "I'll forgive and forget". Do they really do that? Given some of the situations that I've seen so far, no one does that, alright I'll be more fair, most of them don't "forgive and forget". And like I've said, money given to the wrong hands, will eventually cause a person to go "astray"(depending on the context) I'll stop here for today. I go alot of things to process right now. I'll talk about it tomorrow. Good night.
||セバスチャン|| blogged at [10:04 PM]*
Saturday, December 15, 2012
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(Whatever you all see fit as title)
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Good afternoon everyone! The holidays have started. How are you all planning to spend your holidays? I hope you have a great plan for your holidays and Christmas is coming soon. Today, I'm gonna talk a little bit about parenting. I know what you all might think, yes yes, I'm just a single guy sitting here talking about parenting when I'm not even a parent myself. Yoou all have a point that I'm doing that right now, but thing is, I have been observing young parents and how they are teaching or rather, educating their children. Somehow, I just feel that something is wrong whenever I see them scold their kids and so on.
To be honest, its kinda sad to see that parents nowadays just, don't know how to teach their kids properly. At first, I didn't give a damn about parenting as you know, I'm single and stuff but till I overheard this conversation between a father and his daughter. From my point of view, What I saw was this thing called "Super High Expectation" from the father to his daughter(and maybe his son as well). From what I could tell, this family of four is most probably a middle income family which is, pretty rare to find in Singapore nowadays. How I could tell? Simple, I'm sure most of you now should know what "MindChamps" is right? If you don't know, Google it. So, apparently their daughter is in the MindChamps programme and to enroll in MindChamps ain't cheap as well, given that they have a maid as well and judging by the outft the father was wearing, formal business wear, most probably working as a mangeral position of some sorts. But one thing I noticed, he was never smiling, high chance that he is unhappy about a few stuff, lets just say maybe, work and his boss(?)
So, I was having dinner at a food court at Toa Payoh and this family came along and sat beside my table. That is why I over heard their conversation. So apparently, I would assume the father was asking his daughter about her studies. They were talking halfway when I heard the daughter telling him that she was already doing her best in her studies and the next thing that I heard just blew my mind away. The father replied with a "Tried your best...that's BUlLSHIT!" Sorry to say, but my mind went "WTF mode" instantly. I mean, come on, your daughter is already trying her best in school but this is what you tell her?
To be honest, it is really sad to see families interacting like this. I mean, yes, when you have kids, you have officially become his or her parent. But that doesn't mean that you can do as you like to your kids just because you're their parent. To matter how you see it, your kids are still human. They have feelings as well. What you should be doing is "grow with your kids". I know going to work to earn a living to support your family is important for your family's survival. Going through all the shit at work pisses you off as well, given that you have to deal with shitty people all around you. Yes I know it does pisses you off, but that doesn't mean you should vent it all on your kids. Come on, they're not your punching pillow. You should jolly know well that having kids in Singapore is a very HUGE resposibility and its also costly to raise your kids with all the school fees and stuff. But it's still not a valid reason to vent your anger on your child.
Think about it. your child is only what? Primary 2,3,4? You have to understand that kids of that age won't know as much as you do and the fact that nowadays teachers in school don really teach what is needed to be educated your kids, so as their parent, you should be the one educating your kids instead. BUT, educatse the right things. Go figure that out yourself if you're wondering what the "right" things are.
I'll end it here for today, I might right more when I feel like it. I kinda lost the mood to continue writing on, but hey, you'll never know ehn I will get the feeling beack and start writing so much again.
||セバスチャン|| blogged at [1:00 PM]*
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
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I finally cried(?)
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Well, how's it going everyone. Its been awhile since my last post, well, I always say that but yea, I'm back. Well, here's a little update for you guys. I'll be starting a "lets play" on my youtube channel. So be sure to look forward to it soon.
Wonder why I title this post that I finally cried? Well it's kinda silly as I cried due to an ending episode of a certain anime. I can say that it was the first anime that actually made me cry like a baby at the final episode. Also, with all the crazy things I'm going through these few day, it really let me loose. I just let the tears flow. It just flowed non stop. Myabe its because of certain event that happened recently as well.
Well, I gotta end it here guys. I'll try to update or talk about other things when I have the time soon. I wish you all good night and have a good rest tonight.
||セバスチャン|| blogged at [1:52 AM]*
Thursday, November 8, 2012
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Further investigating to the shadow figure dream.
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Here's what I realised after the first investigation. The dream may have a meaning inside but given my opinion, I think there is a deeper meaning to what I have first thought. A few questions pop up in my mind. What does the shadow figure in my dream meant? Why didn't it hurt when "it" sink its arm right into my chest? What was the "thing" that was actually filling my heart?
Alright, firstly the shadow figure. What could the mind possibly think of in order for this figure to take shape within my dream? Why a shadow figure instead of a "light" figure? In my opinion, I think it might be a manifestation of current depressing event I have been through when I'm awake, or, it might be just me trying to accept the unknown I'm picking up everyday. But then again, if its something to do with my mind, why did the figure sink its arm right into me chest and filled an unknown matter into my heart? I realised it also clouds my judgement. But yet again...it is our mind that makes the judgement and our mind controls our heart.
Second thing, the dark area I was floating within. What could ths darkness around me mean? The silence was so loud that it was deafening. My ears were hurting from the silence, so queit yet so loud. The irony. That about that for now. I'll come up with more information after I investigate it more.
||セバスチャン|| blogged at [11:10 PM]*
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
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Shadowy figure?
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Here is the second dream I can remember. This might be a short/long post.
I found myself floating in a dark space. There was an infinate amount of darkness around me. There was nothing but darkness and silence and the silence was so loud that I almost went deaf. Then the next thing that happened to me was there was this shadowy figure floating above me. It had no face as it was just a figure with (drak) clouds shrouding around him/her/it(?) So what it did was hover all around me and the next thing it did was put it's arm(?) on my chest.
What it did next was it sink its arm right into my chest. It grabbed hold of my heart, I didn't feel pain. I know it was feeling my heart with something, but I just do not know what it was feeling my heart with. The feeling felt nice, but given the shadowy figure, this nice feeling must have a side effect to it. Just what is it feeling my heart with. I can tell you its not love. I'm suspecting its a dark force which might cloud my heart and soul. I mean this is what I feel it might be.
So what do you, my readers think?
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I guess this is a short one.
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||セバスチャン|| blogged at [12:40 AM]*
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
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Uniforms, guns and a rainy night.
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Alright, I can't really remember all my dreams but here goes the first vivid dream I had. And let me say it again in case my readers find it weird. IT! IS! A! DREAM! ONLY!
Everything started with me standing outside an office building during a rainy night. I don't know why I'm there and I noticed I'm wearing something similar to a SWAT's uniform that night. I remembered clearly I had a 4 men team with me. I was awaiting orders to riad the building as with are on a hostage rescue mission. But one thing really bugged me. Of all places to choose to hide the hostage, why choose a collapsing building which will collapse anytime? Anyway, we received orders to raid the building as the 4 of us stormed into the building.
As we got into the building, one of my men got shot in the head and died on the spot. So the team decided to split up and look for the hostages. (Don't worry, there are other teams in the building as well) As I carefully walked around the building to prevent anyone from spotting me, I started hearing gun fire in one of the office. There seems to be a gun fight inside as I opened the door and started spraying the terrorist with my P90. (Don't ask me why I'm using this gun, I just had it) After the gun fight was over, I called out to check if anyone was still surviving after the fierce exchange of bullets. No one answered. I assumed everyone was dead. I walked out from the office and noticed a little girl dressed in red with red shoes and a white ball in her hand. She tossed the ball at me gently, as the ball reached my boots, I picked it up for her.
(This might sound abit creepy(?) but yea, its what I saw in my dream)
She smiled at me and ran away from me. Her laughter echoed through the building as I ran after her after she took a turn after the office area, she was no where to be found. All I saw there was a pair of red shoes left there. I kinda freaked out as this looked like a scene from horror movies/games. so I moved away from that area. Then the weirdest shet happened to me, HQ contacted me through my walkie talkie and it screaed the living lights out of me. They gave me the order to blow up the entire building. I was stunned. Asking me to distroy the building? What about the hostage(s)? What about the little girls? What about my team, though they're probably dead or still wandering around in search of the hostages? Am I supposed to blow up this place just like that?
The next thing I know is that I'm already standing outside the building, under the heavy downpours with a denonator in my hand. HQ keeps repeating their order to blow up the building again and again. I eventually lost to the pressure I was given and I blew up the building in the end. I was crying in the dream. Fire was everywhere as the whole building collapse right in front of me. Was this the right decision I made?
||セバスチャン|| blogged at [11:30 PM]*
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Change of content in this blog/ sorry for not updating for so long!
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Alright, firstly, I'm gonna change the content of this blogs to describtions of my dreams so that I might be able to discover or decipher thing that I may not see when I'm awake. So yea...this I roughly it for the new updates on this blog and sorry I havent been writing as I got stuff to think about and shit loads of stuff to do. So that its for this update post.
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LET'S DO THIS SHET!!!
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||セバスチャン|| blogged at [11:00 PM]*